procrastination. a lifestyle?

saturdays are the worst.

just seems like a blur and nothing ever gets done.. I probably eat the worst junk too. right now I'm just watching Alice in Wonderland 1951 version and even thought I think this story is one of the most messed up and weird ones ever I guess I shouldn't judge before I've watched the movie. 

I don't know why I don't have any motivation.. I guess I've been complaining about it throughout this whole blog.. And I guess this idea of blogging throughout the whole year about my senior year was a good idea but really it wasn't well I don't think it was anymore.. because I don't know.. 

Anyways I guess I should probably try and get to starting my assignment since it is due this weekend and yeah I should email it to my teacher and all that shiz. But it doesn't seem like that will be happening any time soon.. because yeah I don't know if understanding why I am unmotivated will help me. um actually I don't even think I know why I feel so unmotivated.. so obviously I wouldn't know how to fix it. I would say I'm not complaining that I have a bad life because I am complaining technically I am but its not because I have a bad life its just that I don't really know the direction that my life is going in at the moment.. 

And I just feel like I don't even know whats going on in my life right now like of course we can complain all we want and I don't think anything will ever happen if we don't do anything about it hey. 

healthy lifestyle, healthy living, healthy foods, exercise, its a lifestyle change but how does why, how, whats the point really? 

argh. oh so hungry and lethargic, pisssed yo. 

friggin.. whatever

I feel so like ulgh right now like headache and pissy and craving sugar and feeling shit for not exercising in 2 days and feeling fat from eating out and pissy and moody because im sleep deprived and like annoyed because im basically in a call with no one becasue phil isnt even talking in the call because I havent been talking in the call because im so like argh all the above.

This post is probably going to be one of those ranting ones but yeah I guess thats what i feel like right now. I don't think I'll ever be a very successful blogger aye, well not if i keep going like I am now AHA because this content is pre shit..

oh something i hate to the core of me is being called bad words by friends in conversation even though it doesnt mean anything I still get pretty peeved when phil calls me a bitch or a kient like wtf what gives you the fucking right to call me a bad name like that when I have not done anything clearly to deserve such a name. and he does like apologise in the end but it still hurts like dont even do it in the first place you asshole.

this post will actually just be one of those ranting ones because I'm just in the mood buddy. no ones forcing you to read this blog and heck I dont think I'll even want to read it when I look back at this.

Oh and term 4 you bitch. i fucking hate this term like yes its the home stretch and i can see the finish line in the distance but fuck its so hard. i have no motivation and frankly i think ive given up and holy my mum was talking to me about children of this age and saying that we always have to be doing something so thats why if we get bored we want to do something, anything, to feel 'something' get a kick out of something. and you know what that probably is true. because i would totally do something really stupid to feel something right now and i do really feel numb and just in  haze its friggin ridiculous.

okay i dont think this is making much sense jbut what the heck i thought it would be helpful to just like type angrily all my feelings but i dont think it really helped. not really. 

on the home stretch

I haven't blogged in over a month.. unheard of! Only kidding, I don't think I take this blogging thing any serious anyways even though I probably should.. whats the point of doing things half way anyways?

Ums I feel really ew right now because I just had like a crap load of junk food today and then ending up having maccas for dinner like seriously? ugh I'm so yuck lols. But don't worry I won't start complaining about the size of my thighs or the flab under my arms cos really there's no point in complaining about that.

I reckon I should get in shape a little for like schoolies sake or something but hey who am I trying to impress anyways.. AHAH actually I probably should care muahaha

okay off tangent again. actually I don't really know what to talk about at the moment I probably should make a start on my assignments which I got like last week and still have not touched. Bad idea hey?

oh wells can't reverse the past now can you?